1 x eight hour, forty minutes flight.
1 x seat-neighbour who spent the whole eight hours and forty minutes rearranging his nuts.
1 x epic snow flurry which meant we had to circle above the ground (who knows how far above the ground, given that visibility was nil) while ‘they’ snowploughed us a landing strip.
1 x taxi driver (‘John, the Question Man’) – whose key phrase was ‘you ask the question, I answer the question, you don’t ask a question, I’ll answer the question’, and who drove at 80mph, through a blizzard, on black ice…
And I’m finally here, and settling-in to Toronto. Or ‘Toronno’ as it is known.
Day one, 3 x breakfasts (on the basis I effing love breakfast) – comprising:
- 1 x muffin from Starbucks (skinny, apple and cinnamon, $1.95 – surprisingly cheaper than the uke).
- 1 x toast with bacon and maple syrup, because quite frankly it’d be rude not to.
- 1 x oatmeal with cinnamon and apple, I am on a cinnamon and apple tip.
1 x Super Bowl, in 1 x Canadian pub, where we ate 2 x chilli, and ribs and sweet potato chips.
1 x hat which doubles as a balaclava and has ear flaps purchased.
1 x daytime temperature of -15.
3 x coffee, including one from Tim Horton.
And a shit load of snow.
Toronto, I love you a bit.

